1. Oy Vey

Most people turn to the internet for distraction, affirmation, or porn. I'm turning to the blogosphere for some good old fashioned accountability, something that is completely lacking in my current life. {and I'm hoping in yours, too. Nothing like a little schadenfreude.}

What in the world is possessing me to turn to a blog to kick my ass? Knowing better should equal doing better, right? {Not exactly.} Somewhere in-between the knowing and the doing, I get lost. I could sit here and preach about how to lose weight, how to get rid of debt and save thousands of dollars, how to run a multi-million dollar empire, because I KNOW. But I've never DONE. {Name the book, I've read it; suggest the diet, I've tried it.}

In a last ditch effort to save my sanity, here I am. This is it, millions of {potential} anonymous readers. I am yours for the compliments, the crucifixions, the advertising revenue.

I'm sure we'll all get to be best friends sooner or later, but in the meantime, here's the Idiot's Guide to Facts About Beth:

• I pink puffy heart polka-dots. {Why yes, I was in a sorority, why do you ask?}



• Even though you least expect it, I practice veganism.



• Burritos are my jam! {In a manner of speaking.}



• I suck at running.



• I'm Web 2.0 {follow me on Twitter! @BethSroka}



• My memory is crap. I'm lucky I remember my own name.



• I'm obsessed with matroshyka dolls, yet don't own a single one.



• I'm waiting to just wake up one morning and have accomplished all of my goals on the right sidebar. {I think it's a foolproof strategy.}



• My parents raised me in a house where "crap" and "fart" were swear words. This might explain my current penchant for the F word. {It's very versatile!}